so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
