If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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