you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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