No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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