Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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