i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
