But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You're a waste of cheezeits
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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