I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
