When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
