gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
