So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
