Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
