We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
