you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
third nipple confirmed
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
