this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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