I love black thongs
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
