I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
