we have officially lost it.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
