My friends, they love my intelligence
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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