I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
