I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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