so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
