Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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