Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
