I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
