i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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