Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
