My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
