she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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