I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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