Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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