Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He did a backflip because drugs
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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