Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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