Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
do herpes really smell.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
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