On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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