If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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