yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
