My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Randomize
