youre lurking in front of me
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
