This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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