I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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