Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The air was thick with penises
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
