We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
