My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So vagazzling was a success
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
