Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
