Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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