Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
