Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
