Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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