Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
