no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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