The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
