did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You smell like stripper and shame
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
