im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
