I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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