I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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