also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize
